Another week, another vent session about certain parenting-focused Instagram posts.
For the most part, Mom Instagram is my friend. I post ridiculous things my kids do and read about the ridiculous things other little kids do. I have learned how to deal with toddler tantrums and received tons of other advice tidbits from seasoned, smart moms. I’ve learned to give myself grace, I’ve learned that the overwhelm I occasionally feel is normal and I’ve felt secretly smug that potty training my son wasn’t as hard as it is for some other parents.
But like all things in life and all things on social media, there are some things that are just … irksome. I’m not talking about trolls or mean posts, which nobody likes–I’m talking about slightly condescending posts or those that come across as a bit tone deaf. I typically scroll right past and ignore them, but I want to vent a bit about a few themes that keep coming up and that keep annoying me. Am I the only one?
The “just wait” posts, like this one:
Let’s cool it with the “just waits.” Yeah, some toddlers are harder than some infants. Yes, some teenagers are harder than some toddlers. And of course some toddlers are much harder than some other toddlers and some teenagers are much harder than some other teenagers. We know.
This post theme feels a bit condescending, like “oh, you think you know what it’s like to be a parent? You don’t!”
I’ve seen some people flip this on its head, with “just waits” but for the positive parts of parenting. I love that. You think babies are cute? Just wait until they’re in preschool, telling you about the fox stuffed animal their friend brought for show and tell.
The complaining about the cost of daycare posts, like this one:
Kids are expensive. Childcare is expensive. These days, daycare/preschool often does cost as much as a mortgage payment, and that sucks. That’s a societal problem that goes along with many other societal problems with economics and social services. The government should probably subsidize childcare.
But in most cities and states, the government doesn’t subsidize childcare, so parents pay for it. That’s not just a problem for parents, it’s a problem for daycares and preschools. They need to stay open and they need to pay their teachers; in fact, they should (and most would if they could) pay their teachers much more (being a preschool teacher seems like one of the most stressful jobs in the world). So tuition costs a lot, and the fundraiser referenced above is probably completely necessary for that childcare center to stay open.
Childcare is my biggest monthly expense–but my kids’ safety and education is my number-one priority, so be it. Until the government starts paying daycare and preschool teachers directly–and paying them well–I’ll shell out my childcare payment without complaining.