Welp, we got home from a family trip last night. It was our third trip flying with two kids, so you’d think we’d sort of have it down by now, right?
As every parent everywhere knows: Wrong.
Does there ever come a time when you’ve got it down? Maybe eventually, when the kids are like 8 years old and can fully operate an iPad, feed themselves snacks and go to the bathroom independently, flying with two of them will be marginally easier.
But for now, I’m still making rookie mistakes.
Plane mistake #1: I didn’t pack extra clothes in our carry- ons for the baby
Packing extra clothes honestly didn’t even occur to me. I had everything else under the sun in my backpack for the 2-hour flight: 7 granola bars, 3 string cheeses, milk (regular and chocolate), about a dozen diapers, enough infant formula to last a week if we somehow crash-landed on a desert island on the landlocked flight up the West Coast, blankets, stuffed animals, books, toddler iPad, toy cars … and we used exactly three of those things (about 1/10th of the formula, one diaper, chocolate milk).
My 8-month old daughter entertained herself by playing with the seatbelt and my 2-year-old son kept himself busy by acting like ALL 2 year olds, refusing to play with anything I brought for him, opting instead for the most dangerous things in his vicinity: emergency exit doors, the hot water spout in the back and another passenger’s shoes.
But like I said, no extra clothes.
My daughter has had a grand total of two diaper blowouts in her 8 months on this earth. One was a few months ago at home. The other was yesterday as we were going through security, right after we checked our bags containing about 10 perfectly clean onesies. I smelled something and hightailed it to the bathroom. My son, of course, insisted on accompanying us.
As I laid her on the changing table, I realized she had pooped right through her diaper, ruining her cute little yellow rhino outfit. Not such a big deal if you have other clothes handy. Which I did not. Like an idiot. So I texted my husband to run to the gift shop, the only store open at the Palm Springs airport at the late hour of 6:30 pm, and find a souvenir baby outfit. Guess what they didn’t have at the gift shop? My husband improvised, buying the smallest t-shirt in stock, a pink sparkly number decorated with Palm trees and labeled for an 8 year old. He finished off the outfit with a pair of adult women’s socks.
I resisted the urge to explain the situation to everyone who looked at us. Let people think I dress my baby daughter in a huge off the shoulder t-shirt and my socks on a regular basis. Or let them judge me because they correctly guessed I had failed to pack an extra outfit. I deserve to be judged. But also it didn’t do her any harm and honestly she seemed to enjoy the extra breathing room provided by the t-shirt, sooooo there are worse mom fails in the world.
Plane mistake #2: I didn’t pack extra clothes in our carry-ons for the toddler.
Once we were on the plane, with the baby comfortably settled on my husband’s lap in her cool new threads, my two-year-old son asked to sit on my lap and read a book.
I was thrilled. Sitting on my lap reading a book is basically the best-case plane scenario: No walking in the aisles, no screaming, no opening and closing the window shade repeatedly, no bothering other passengers.
But then, about two minutes into reading the giraffe book, I felt something warm on my lap. Warm and wet and yellow.
I picked up my son and saw that his sweatpants were soaked with pee, which is what had made its way onto my lap. It was the first time that has ever happened, and of course the first time happened to be on a plane with no extra clothes.
Somewhere in the middle of the stress of discovering my baby daughter had pooped through her onesie, my son asked me to change his diaper, probably just to copy the baby. I had quickly changed it while holding the baby, and clearly I didn’t do a very good job.
I grabbed my son and hightailed it to the plane bathroom, where I discovered that yeah, I hadn’t done a very good job. His diaper was on all wrong, not in an optimal position to catch pee. Good job, me! I took off his sweatpants, wrung out the urine, dabbed them with paper towels to the best of my ability, and then forced my poor son to put the damp pants back on. Lucky for me, he was a trooper and didn’t even put up a fuss. Very unlike him, for the record.
And finally, just for fun …
Top 10 things I don’t want to hear my toddler say on a plane but he definitely said on the plane:
- What does this door do?
- Mommy, I know how to unbuckle!
- I have to poop.
- I’m pooping.
- I’m pooping again.
- Hi! (To the grumpy older man behind you)
- Hi! (To the first class passengers, through the curtain)
- Hi! (To the woman seated in front of you, from under her seat)
- Oooooo, this plane bumpy! (To the woman in the next row white-knuckling the armrest and crossing herself any time the plane hits turbulence)
- Where’s Momo? (You forgot to pack Momo)
Related posts:
What I Learned From Our Family Vacation: When Traveling With Kids, Easy Isn’t the Points
Traveling With Children: Wait, Is This Stranger Posting My Kid’s Tantrum on TikTok?
Prepping to Travel With Children: There’s a Difference Between a Vacation and a Trip