A few weeks ago I wrote a Money Diary for Refinery29. It ended up being much more of a mom diary than a money diary: I was supposed to record every dollar I spent, and I did, but I also recorded everything I did for a seven-day period. Reading it back, I realized it was an honest description of a week in the life of a working mom, so I’m re-publishing it here. Except now, it’s not a money diary (I removed most references to the $$ I spent), it’s a mom diary.
Day One
430: I wake up in my 4-year-old son’s bed, and try to go back to sleep. It’s Saturday!
515: Give up, get up. Change into workout clothes and start a 45-minute Peloton ride. Halfway through, my son, W, comes in and asks to be “set up,” which means I get him a pillow and blanket, warm milk, and his iPad. He thinks for a minute about what to watch, then decides on Toy Story 3. I get back on the bike.
615: Take a shower, hurrying to finish before my son loses interest in the movie or my 3-year-old daughter wakes up. When I’m clean and dressed, my daughter, S, is still asleep. Yay! My son and I head downstairs to play and let the dog outside. I make coffee for myself.
7: S wakes up and wanders downstairs. I try to meet her halfway on the stairs to help her down, but she yells “NO MOMMY I DO IT MYSELF.” I get her milk and she sits down, plays with her brother.
715: I unload the dishwasher and start making breakfast. My husband, J, comes downstairs and plays with the kids. I serve the kids a somewhat healthy breakfast of eggs, sausage and apple slices. My son eats two bites, daughter eats zero bites, then they insist on Lucky Charms instead. I eat their eggs and sausage.
9: W has been obsessing over a toy snake his friend from daycare brought for show and tell. He wants the exact snake that his friend has, but we can’t figure out what exactly the snake looks like or where to get it. All I know is the kid told W he got it at “the children’s museum,” which could mean it’s available at the children’s museums in our area or could mean he got it literally anywhere else, because he’s 4. My husband tells him we’ll go look at Fred Meyer, so we all get in the car. They don’t have THE snake, or any snake. We tell the kids they can each get one small toy. They choose expensive race car sets. J miraculously, convinces them that getting one small cheap toy car each is cooler.
1030: After dropping off W and J at home, S and I drive to my friend’s house. She’s having her first baby, and we drop off a bunch of hand me downs, then chat with her for awhile. It feels good to say bye to our baby supplies, but it’s also sort of sad to never need a bassinet again. On the way home, we stop at Starbucks for a cake pop because S loves them. It costs $3.26 for one tiny cake pop yet for some reason I keep getting them for her.
12: It’s cold outside, but sunny and not THAT cold for February. When we get home, we get both kids in their jackets and on their little bikes. The kids ride bikes to the park on our block, where we run into some neighborhood friends and they play.
1:30: Go home, try and fail to get the kids to eat lunch. I pack their lunches and additional snacks into bento boxes and put them in the car, and I eat a banana and protein bar. We drive to the nursery to look for pretty plants for two backyard planter boxes. J and W walk around the nursery; I sit in the car while S naps in her car seat. J reports that the only plants he liked cost $600 each. We decide we don’t need anything in those planter boxes after all.
230: We drive down the street to a petting zoo and walk around for awhile. S makes people walking by laugh by waving and yelling, “how you doing, chickens!!” There’s a little market next to the petting zoo. We tell the kids they can each pick out one snack but it can’t be a sweet treat. My daughter picks an apple and an orange. My son picks an ice cream bar. We say no to the ice cream bar and he throws a fit. J carries him to the car, kicking and screaming. I buy the apple and orange for S, and one more of each for W, who will probably want to eat what his sister is eating once he calms down.
4: After an entire day of hearing about the toy snake, J and I decide to drive to the children’s museum and see if we get lucky. On the way, W complains about not getting ice cream, then eventually eats the orange. W and I go into the gift shop. They have four different toy snakes. None of them are the “right snake.” W pouts. But then he realizes it’s either the wrong snake or no snake. He picks the biggest, most expensive snake, of course. I buy a small one for S, because she’ll start asking for one when she sees her brother’s.
5: We get home and I start dinner, then give W. a bath. When he gets out, he says the only shirt he wants to wear is the red one he just took off. It’s dirty and smells like the petting zoo. I tell him he can’t wear that shirt because we have to wash it, and he gets upset because “I have no other shirts!” I lie all his shirts on his bedroom floor. There are 32. He finally chooses a different red shirt.
6: Finish making dinner: just rice, boring chicken and boring broccoli. The kids also get chicken nuggets, cheese puffs and strawberries. They eat a few bites, which is par for the course. My husband and I are adults so we eat our whole dinner. Then we put on Moana. They watch and chase each other around with the snakes, then ask for popcorn and trail mix because they’re hungry.
7: We start the bedtime routine and get them to sleep by 8:30. I lie in my son’s bed because he insists on it. I read on my Kindle and pass out in there, as usual.
Day Two
430: Wake up, lie there, read on my Kindle
515: get up, do another 45-minute peloton ride. S comes in halfway through and wants to be set up. I put Moana on her iPad and pray that W doesn’t come in, too; he gets mad when his sister beats him to the bike room.
615:I try to change S’s pull-up. She gets upset because we’re all out of Moana pull-ups. I show her the tree diapers, banana diapers and Minnie Mouse diapers and she rejects all of them. I promise I’ll take her to the store later to buy Moana ones. If my son gets a huge unnecessary toy snake, she can get some themed pull-ups. After about a half hour she finally puts on a tree diaper for the time being.
630: W gets up, we all go downstairs and I put on Minions. I let the dog outside and feed him. I’ll probably forget to mention dog stuff because these kids take up so much of my energy, but I promise he is always fed and taken outside! The dog is fine, except that my daughter yells at him a lot because he steals her dinner. (In the dog’s defense it’s not like she eats it anyway.)
8: I make breakfast: eggo waffles, apple slices, bacon. The kids sit there and stare at the food for awhile. I eat.
9: I get the car packed up and kids ready to go to the bounce house. It’s pouring rain and there are limited indoor kid things to do around here. It’s annoying that bad weather equals paying to entertain the kids. Summer is amazing for many reasons; one of them is that taking the kids to parks and hikes and beaches is FREE! Buy bounce house tickets online.
10: I watch the kids bounce! They mostly have fun, but they also get mad when other kids take their balls or get in their way. Sharing is hard. I coerced my friend to come with me, so we chat while they play, and also play with them a bit. When the session is over, my son tells me I promised I would get them a “special snack” from the snack bar. I don’t remember saying that but OK. They say to choose your battles with kids; some days I choose to have no battles. Each kid gets Doritos.
12: Hang out at home with my friend. The kids play and eat cheese and crackers for lunch.
130: I take the kiddos for a car ride to a children’s consignment store located about 30 minutes away; the only way they’ll nap on the weekends is in the car. I have a bag of cute baby clothes to consign. When we get there, they tell me they don’t consign on Sundays. Oh well— I’ll add this stuff to the 5 bags of kids clothes and shoes we’re taking to Goodwill this week. That way I’ll avoid the embarrassment of the store telling me none of the clothes are good enough for them to buy.
330: A few friends (with their kids) come over to watch the Super Bowl. The kids play hide and seek and discover some bubble wrap that keeps them busy while adults eat and watch the game. I’m reminded that Usher has some hits.
8: After everyone leaves, we get the kids’ teeth brushed and they collapse into bed, exhausted.
830: I lie down and read – I’m currently reading Kristin Hannah’s The Women. Fall asleep.
Day Three
5: I get up and do the Peloton. Are you sensing a pattern? Working out in the morning is how I (mostly) remain patient with the kiddos throughout the day. After a few minutes, S gets up and wanders into the bike room. I get her set up with Little Mermaid and milk, then finish Peloton. I shower and get dressed. BTW I wear a variation of the same mom uniform pretty much every day: ripped straight leg jeans, tee shirt, white Nikes, sweater or fleece jacket when I leave the house.
630: I convince my daughter to take off the blue Little Mermaid t-shirt she’s been wearing for 3 weeks straight (including overnight) so I can wash it. We have to get her to take it off once every 48 hours so I can hand wash and dry it as fast as possible. She wears a pull-up and says she’ll “wait for the Ariel shirt” instead of putting on other clothes.
7: W wakes up. I feed the kids breakfast, play, then get them and all their stuff loaded into the car.
9: daycare dropoff. Every day I try to get there by 8: 30 and every day I get there at 9. I’m punctual except when it involves getting kids into car seats.
930: get home, eat a protein bar, and get settled at my desk to work. I work from home full time and my husband usually works from home, though he drives to Seattle about once a week to go to his office.
12: I take a break to vacuum the house and clean the kitchen, then eat lunch (cheese, crackers, apple). Take the dog around the block. I usually listen to podcasts while I walk the dog and when I’m driving alone; my favorites are advice podcasts (Oversharing and Dear Shandy).
130: Work! At some point I get an email reminder about the kids’ classroom Valentine’s Day parties. Write ‘to’ and ‘from’ on the silly little boxes of conversation hearts I bought last week.
4: I wrap up work for the day, and pick up kids from daycare. It usually takes about 10 minutes to convince my son to go home because they play outside at this time, then another 10 minutes to get my daughter into her car seat because she has to do everything “BY MYSELF!”
5: We get home and the kids start playing in the playroom; then I start making dinner. When J gets home, we convince the kids to come sit down for dinner: a random collection of nachos, refried beans, chicken and watermelon. They eat mostly watermelon. We talk about sharks and Moana characters. The kids ask for hot chocolate. I make them each a mug. They drink about half a sip before losing interest.
7: I give S a bath, then we start to wind down for bedtime. We follow our usual routine: J puts our daughter to bed and I put my son to bed.
830: Go to sleep!
Day Four
4: I wake up to sounds from my daughter’s room. I think she peed through her diaper; I hear my husband changing her sheets and getting her back down.
5: get up, peloton. My son comes in halfway through and I set him up with an iPad.
7:Get kids breakfast they don’t eat, play, wrestle them into the car, the usual. I eat a protein bar and the English muffin my daughter rejected.
9: Daycare dropoff. On the way they argue about whether it’s foggy outside or not (it is). Afterwards, I pop by the grocery store and get bananas, apples, kid snacks, and pull ups. As I drive home, I realize I forgot to buy hot cocoa mix even though I promised my son I would. There will be hell to pay later.
9:45: Work! Usually I sit down at my desk between 9:15 and 9:30, though I respond to messages and emails starting around 7am. My job consists mostly of head-down writing and editing; much of it is technical and detail-oriented. I have meetings here and there but my work is mostly independent.
1130: I see an email about a co-pay I owe for some random lab work I had at a physical last month. Pay that, then walk through and tidy the house, and take out all the garbages. Take the dog for a quick walk.
1230: Back to work. I eat lunch–banana, peanut butter and jelly sandwich– while I’m working, and drink a La Croix. I drink approximately 1,000 La Croixs per day.
420: I pick up the kids from daycare. On the way there, I chat with a friend on the phone. It takes even longer than usual to get out of there because first my son forgot to grab his new stuffed snake from his cubby, then once we got in the car he decided he needed to pee.
5: When we get home, we have a package of Girl Scout cookies waiting. We ordered and paid for them last week. We play, eat a dinner of ravioli, chicken sausage and broccoli, and watch part of the Mario movie.
8: We get the kids ready for bed and into bed, the usual routine.
9: I read and fall asleep. I finish The Women; highly recommend!
Day Five
530: My son wakes me up, asking to go to the bike room. I set him up with his iPad and do a Peloton workout. We chat about his classroom’s Valentines Day party: Happy V-Day! After a little while, S joins us. I get them both a glass of milk. My son yells, “I don’t want this, why would you get me milk?” I don’t know, maybe because you’ve drank milk in the morning every single day since you were born?
7: Shower, then make the kids heart-shaped pancakes for Valentine’s Day. They don’t eat even one bite. I eat my own breakfast, the usual morning chaos. I make and drink coffee, too— that happens every morning.
9: Daycare dropoff. My son asks how many sleeps until his birthday, I tell him about 150, and he gets upset. Pawn him off on his teacher.
9:30: Work. Another day spent writing and editing on my computer. At some point in the morning my husband picks up W from daycare and takes him to a doctor check-up.
12: I eat lunch and book an Airbnb cabin for a long weekend coming up. It’s expensive. Everything is expensive.
1230: Back to work. I take a break to chat with a friend on the phone; I complain about how I hardly have time to do anything but work and take care of the kids while I lounge on the couch and gossip for 45 minutes.
430: Pick up kids- they had a blast at their Valentine’s Day parties but now we have a bunch of goody bags they’re going to fight over.
5: Dinner, play with kiddos, clean kitchen, the usual! Tonight we have cheese quesadillas and the leftover chicken sausage from yesterday, plus orange slices. Then we get them ready for bed and we do our usual bedtime.
845: Fall asleep!
Day Six
5: I get up and do some yoga. Then I take a shower. I always do my “skincare routine” in the shower: cheap soap, followed by cheap lotion. No makeup, nothing at night. I spend so much money on silly kid stuff like bounce house admission that I’ve decided there are certain areas where I can skimp. When I’m out of the shower, the kids are still sleeping, so I get coffee, sit at my computer and do some work.
7: The kiddos get up. I attempt to get them to eat breakfast, eat their breakfast when they reject it, wrestle them into changing clothes, the usual.
9: Daycare dropoff, then stop at the grocery store. I buy apples, milk, coffee creamer and Tylenol.
930: Work! I spend most of the day working at my desk, with a quick break for lunch and cleaning the kitchen.
3: I have a routine doctor appt. On the way, I fill up my car with gas.
430: Daycare pickup. It’s the usual routine: 10-20 minutes to say bye to their friends, gather their stuffies and buckle themselves into their car seats.
5: I take them to a nearby indoor playground; it’s cold and wet outside, but they seem like they need to get some energy out. J meets us there.
8: We get home and get the kids dinner (a collection of leftovers from the week), then get them ready for bed. I sit in my son’s bed while he falls asleep, buy a new book on my Kindle and start reading it. (Pineapple Street by Jenny Jackson.)
Day Seven
530: Wake up, Peloton, the usual! Cody the instructor says “be hot, even if you’re at a kid’s birthday party. someone has to be the MILF, why not you?” Yeah, why NOT me? I think. Then I remember that MILFs probably blow dry their hair and put on makeup and I do neither. Shower, head downstairs, clean kitchen.
7: The family gets up. We feed the kids breakfast and watch a little bit of Minions.
9: I drive the kiddos to daycare, then stop at the grocery store to stock up on food for the weekend.
10: I get home and work. At some point I take the dog for a walk around the block; it’s a sunny, cold day. The dog chases some geese, which is a mistake because they chase him back. I eat lunch – usually I eat a random collection of fruit, cheese and crackers, mixed nuts, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and kids’ snacks.
4: Pick up the kiddos. When we get home, J wraps up his work. I make a dinner of pesto, pasta, roasted chicken and roasted veggies while he plays with the kids. They’re playing some game that involves a lot of throwing balls inside the house and chasing each other around.
6: After we eat dinner, J and I give both kids a bath. The first half they play with bubbles together and giggle; the second half my son starts dunking his sister’s head underwater and we decide bath time is over. I spend some time getting the kids (and my) snow gear together. As long as everyone’s feeling good, I’m hoping to take the kids to play in the mountains tomorrow. They’ll probably play in the snow for 15 minutes then say they’re too cold.
8: Get everyone ready for bed. Good night!