The other day I experienced a first: I wrote an email to a podcast, and they actually read it on an episode! The email, pasted below, was to a podcast called Oversharing, which is an advice/therapy/relationship show. They have a segment called “Triggered,” where listeners write in with a situation that got to them and ask, “How triggered should I be?” Mine was on the April 24 episode.
It’s usually a pretty lighthearted segment, and mine, about a dad at daycare dropoff who apparently didn’t want to hold open the door for me and my two toddlers, was no exception. Typically they rate the “Triggered” submissions on a scale of 1-10. For this one, they didn’t actually provide a number: They just said, “We validate you, you’re not the crazy one, and you’re absolutely right to be bothered by this.” The situation was pretty minor and I had fully moved past it by the time I heard it on the podcast, but it always feels good to be validated (parenting advice!).
Dear Oversharing,
Love the pod! This morning I had an encounter at daycare dropoff that really grinded my gears, and I figured writing in would be a great way to vent.
I parked my car and got my 1-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son out of their car seats, then put my son on the sidewalk and held my daughter while I grabbed their backpacks and jackets. Then we walked to the daycare’s front door, falling into step behind a dad with his 2-year-old son. It was cold outside and my son, being a toddler, wouldn’t put on his jacket. I told him to get inside quickly so he didn’t freeze.
The dad in front of us opened the door into the daycare’s vestibule and his son walked through. My son followed him, taking my advice to get in the door quickly. The dad continued holding the door open, so I walked through with my daughter in one arm and their backpacks in the other, smiling and saying “thank you.”
I feel like I don’t even need to say this, but holding the door open for other parents, especially other parents holding their children, is extremely common at daycare. Then the other kid opened the second door, which goes from the vestibule into the lobby. I was impressed that such a small child could open such a big door, so I said to the dad, “wow, he’s so strong!” The dad smiled, grabbed the door, and held it open once again. His son walked through, followed by me and my kids, and finally the dad.
Inside the lobby, I set down the backpacks and got my kids situated. While I was putting my daughter’s hair in a ponytail, the dad and his kid started down the hallway toward his classroom. When they were about seven feet away from us, the dad said to his son, loudly, “Wow, it’s so weird that other families assume I’m holding the door open for them, when really I’m just holding it open for you.”
Am I the crazy one for thinking it was okay to walk through a door this man was holding open, especially after my 3 year old sprinted through, and especially while my hands were full and it would have been difficult for me to open the door myself?
Was he planning to shut the door in my face, leave my small jacketless child out in the cold and have me put down the backpacks, get out the daycare door scanner and open it myself when he was standing right there?
Wouldn’t it have been more awkward/possibly rude for me to say to this dad, “I see you’re holding the door open for your son and my son is currently running through it; do you mind if me and my daughter walk through, too?”
How triggered should I be??
–AITA?