My Kids Are Asleep

“Mommy, I Don’t WANT Clean Underwear!”

This morning my 3-year-old son refused to change his underwear.

I’m pretty lenient with most things, not because that’s my parenting strategy but TBCH because it’s easier. I generally allow my kids to lead and act according to their desires as long as it doesn’t threaten the health or safety of them or others, and as long as their behavior isn’t a roadblock to them becoming a generally good person.

But there are a few other hard and fast rules, mostly involving hygiene: They have to brush their teeth twice a day (OK, fine, sometimes once if we’re running late, or if they fall asleep for the night on the way home from somewhere). The big one has to change into clean underwear every day, something the little one will also have to do once she’s potty trained. 

The changing-underwear thing is often a struggle, probably because refusing to do something he knows I’m insisting on is a way for a toddler to assert control in a world where they have little. When he says “OK” and allows me to help him change easily and quickly, I close my eyes and thank my lucky stars. When he refuses, I count to five in my head and steel myself for battle.

This morning he refused. He yelled, “I don’t WANT clean underwear; I like DIRTY underwear!” He literally kicked me in the face when I tried to pull underwear onto him. He stayed bottom-less for about a half hour after that because I figured it wasn’t worth a black eye. (At least he’s in a dress-wearing phase, so his bottom half was covered and he wasn’t completely Daffy Ducking.)

Then, finally, about 10 minutes before we were set to leave for daycare while I was brushing his little sister’s teeth, he yelled “Mommy, I’m NAKED! why didn’t you put underwear on me??”

I seized the moment, tossed my daughter’s toothbrush on the floor, and threw the clean underwear onto his body in 10 seconds flat before he could change his mind.

Then he refused to brush his teeth.

Kids.