It’s been a tough morning in my household. My two year old woke up angry and he’s been raging ever since. As I write this, I’m sitting in the car with him and his baby sister strapped into the backseat, getting ready to take them to daycare (THANK GOD).
Miles, the two year old, is currently yelling at me to roll down the window. I’ve already rolled it down once, then rolled it back up at his insistence. Apparently his majesty would prefer fresh air. At least for the moment.
As I sit here, trying to kill a few minutes before I take the kiddos to daycare early because I just can’t with him, I thought I’d write it all down in an effort to calm my panicked nervous system before I start driving.
Things my two year old has gotten mad about today:
- This apple not that apple. I had the audacity to give Miles THIS apple but he wants THE OTHER apple! When I gave him the apple he was pointing to, he decided he actually wanted the original apple. And so it went for a few more rounds until the game ended with both apples on the floor, one tiny bite out of each of them.
- This milk not that milk. I filled his bottle with milk, but he wanted it filled with the OTHER carton of milk sitting in the fridge. When I topped off the bottle with milk from the other carton and handed it to him, he screamed and pointed to the carton of almond milk. “Do you also want milk from that carton?” “Yes, uh-huh,” he said, nodding his head. So I added a few drops of almond milk to the already full bottle. After I handed it back to him, he wanted to add milk from the first carton and threw a tantrum when I denied his request and closed the refrigerator. Remarkably similar to the apple game, now that I think about it.
- Dad not mom. Then it was time to head upstairs for a diaper change and to change from pajamas into school clothes. When I started to change Miles’ diaper, he screamed “DAD CHANGE! WANT DADDY!” Dad was busy feeding the baby, so I wrestled him into a new diaper. Literally wrestled. Parents, you feel me.
- This shirt not that shirt. I don’t think I even need to write this out. Any parent knows the shirt struggle is real. You want this shirt? No? Okay, pick out your own shirt. Child puts shirt on. Child screams and points to another shirt. Takes off old shirt and puts on newly selected shirt. Child screams and points to ANOTHER shirt. Cycle continues until parent shuts it down, inhumanely forces child to remain in whichever shirt they most recently selected, and dodges flailing arms.
- NO TOOTHBRUSH. “It’s time to brush your teeth!” “NOOOOOOOO!!” Miles screams, sprinting to the closet, where he will attempt to hide under dad’s row of hanging shirts. I drag him out of the closet and into the bathroom, where tooth-brushing is accompanied by screams and attempts to clamp mouth shut. About 10 seconds in, he seems to realize that I can’t brush his teeth if he’s drinking milk, and escapes from my grip to sprint out of the bathroom and grab his sippy cup. He’s right: I can’t shove the toothbrush into his mouth while he’s drinking milk.
- Driveway > Garage. Finally, it was time to head to the car, get this kid off to daycare and let someone else deal with his mood for a few hours. The problem? Dad has pulled the car into the garage, when usually the car is in the driveway. When Miles saw that the car was in a different-than-usual location, he screamed “No car! No car! Open door! Outside! OUTSIDE!!” and cried actual wet tears. Dad said to him, “It’s not a big deal, bud,” prompting me to tell dad, “We shouldn’t tell him it’s not a big deal because it obviously IS a big deal to him and we want to validate his feelings, and remember he’s only two years old!.” But on the inside I’m thinking, yeah… what’s the big deal?
That’s it for now. But it’s only 8 a.m.!