The beginning of this is going to sound basic so BEAR WITH ME.
The other day I was doing a 20-minute (aka mom-length) Peloton ride when I noticed someone’s hashtag thingy. If you don’t know Peloton, you can look at a leaderboard that shows the other people doing the ride, and people have the option to add a hashtag. Usually it’s some sort of identifier like #PelotonMoms or #BrideToBe.
The one I noticed the other day was different. It said #DontBeSoSerious.
Of course I don’t know what that person was referring to, but the sentiment struck a chord with me. As I continued to slack off on the ride, going slow when the instructor told me to go fast and playing Wordle on my phone when I was supposed to turn up the resistance, I started thinking about why #DontBeSoSerious caught my attention.
It’s because I try to tell myself not to take all the parenting and baby and toddler stuff so seriously ALL THE TIME— but it’s subconscious. Sometimes being around the two kids, especially two-year-old Miles, puts me on high alert and makes me feel mad and frustrated and heart-poundy and all in my head thinking “I CAN’T WATCH WHEELS ON THE BUS ANYMORE” and I absolutely need myself or someone else to tell me to calm down.
Yes, it’s important to take care of your children. Of course it is. Every moment with them is important. But it doesn’t all need to be so SERIOUS all the time.
Maybe I don’t want to listen to Wheels on the Bus anymore and maybe I’m frustrated that Miles keeps laughing and pouring water on the floor and I’m tired because Linnea woke up twice the night before. And maybe when Miles asks me to play “Happy and You Know It” and then screams “NOOOOOO” when I put it on and we repeat the cycle three more times and I still have no idea what he wants my head feels like it’s going to explode and I just want to go hide in the bathroom.
But … it’s all going to be okay. Maybe sometimes instead of feeling upset I can just let it go. Maybe sometimes I could laugh–and maybe that would make him laugh, too. Let your hair down! (Except don’t because your baby will definitely accidentally pull it and it’ll hurt a little.) Put on your most fun earrings! (Except also don’t do that because your toddler will definitely not-accidentally pull them out and it will hurt not a little but a LOT.)
By the way, the key word here is SOMETIMES. I’m not saying take nothing seriously, and I’m not saying we shouldn’t validate our own feelings. Sometimes I’m going to feel mad at my husband because he came downstairs at 8 am after I got up with the kids at 5 and said “I’m so tired” and sure maybe i shouldn’t take that seriously and maybe I should try not to be upset by it but there are times when I just WILL be upset and that’s okay. And right now there are certain things going on in the world that are very serious and not light and not funny. I guess those things add to my point: there are serious things out there, so let’s save our energy for THOSE things.
That’s my goal for this week. Lightness when lightness is warranted. I’ll try not to get upset when a two-year-old isn’t acting rationally or when an actual baby wakes up in the middle of the night. #DontBeSoSerious.