There’s a great website/Instagram account called Happy as a Mother that publishes these graphics about the “invisible load of motherhood.” They depict allllll the things that go into one seemingly simple aspect of parenthood—for example, bedtime isn’t just about tucking your kid into bed and reading a book, it’s about transitioning from playtime to bedtime, negotiating with your kid, making sure the sound machine is on, decompressing afterwards, etc. etc.
Those graphics got me thinking about a way to contextualize the humongous mental toll the coronavirus pandemic is taking on parents.
I realize I’m super late to the party on this one. When the pandemic first hit, my son was three months old and my daughter was barely a twinkle in my eye. I spent the first two months of quarantine on maternity leave, then my husband and I were able to handle taking care of a baby and working from home for several months, as that kind of thing is possible when your kid can’t even crawl yet. So although I sympathized with the parents of toddlers and elementary schoolers who had to juggle work and homeschooling and not socializing and being stuck at home and everything else, I didn’t really get it.
But now that we’re here in January 2022 … I get it. With the major Covid surge and vaccines not yet available for kids under 5, those of us with babies and young kids are kinda back to March 2020, trying to figure out how we’re supposed to work and take care of our kids when daycares and schools keep shutting down due to Covid exposures, and even when they’re open, we’re left wondering if it’s safe to send them.
With that in mind, here’s a list of *some* of the things parents are keeping in their heads during season 3 of the pandemic, invisible or otherwise:
Feeling anxious because everything Covid-related changes every day, week, month and you can’t keep up with the rules and regulations.
Feeling scared but you’re not exactly sure what you’re scared of.
Feeling confused about whether Covid is super dangerous when it infects kids or not and wondering if you should be more or less worried about Covid than the flu or RSV or the measles or pneumonia.
Then feeling guilty that you’re not more worried about all those OTHER viruses.
Scouring the internet for Covid test appointments for your kids because A) they were exposed to the virus and can’t go back to the daycare until they get a negative test, and/or B) they’re showing symptoms.
Driving your kids to the test appointments, which are usually far away because that’s the only one you could find.
Holding their heads while they scream and cry because a stranger is sticking a long weird Q-tip up their nose and they’re too young to understand why.
Holding their hands tight so they can’t grab the long weird Q-tip and pull it out of their nose.
Waiting four full days for test results and wondering whether it’s unethical to go to the grocery store by yourself with a mask on because you’re waiting for the kids’ test results.
Sorting through the news and trying to decide which sources to trust when it comes to info on how the virus affects kids.
Resolving to stop reading the news because it’s too confusing and depressing.
Tussling back and forth between the last two.
Checking the weather over and over to see if maybe it’s actually NOT supposed to rain this weekend so you can do something outside because it’s not really smart to do indoor activities with other people.
Not seeing your friends, especially the ones with kids, because you can’t be sure your kid didn’t pick up the virus at school or daycare.
Texting your friends to tell them that sorry you actually DID see them but you just found out your kid was in contact with someone who had Covid even though they have no symptoms so hope we didn’t give it to you!
Feeling weird/awkward when your kid coughs or sneezes in public.
Feeling sad that you can’t do your normal social and/or travel activities.
Anxiously waiting for your kids’ age group to be approved for the vaccine.
Figuring out how to get your kids the vaccine once their age group IS approved.
Thinking about how you’re going to possibly get your two year old to wear a mask in public.
Actually attempting to get your two your old to wear a mask in public and KEEP it on.
Skipping large social events cause your kids are too young to be vaccinated and you don’t want them exposed and feeling guilty about skipping them.
Worrying your kids are going to get sick.
Taking care of your kids when they DO get sick.
Worrying the sickness is going to get worse.
Getting sick yourself and taking care of your kid while you’re both sick because you’re not supposed to have someone over to help.
Not being able to go to the store to get sick supplies cause you have Covid probably, but actually you don’t know because you can’t locate a test and when you do finally get tested the results take five days to come back.
Keeping your kids home from school or daycare for 10 days cause they’ve been exposed to someone with the virus.
Keeping them home again two weeks later for the same reason.
Attempting to do your actual paying job while your kids are home.
Feeling guilty that you’re not that great at doing your actual paying job while your kids are home.
Hoping your kid actually does test positive this time but doesn’t get too sick because at least then they’re immune for a little while and you can skip the quarantine for a few months.
Feeling guilty about hoping they test positive.
….And I think that’s it for now. What did parents worry about before the pandemic??? Oh wait I know, still literally everything.