I’m a bad Christmas mom.
- Six months ago, I hid four of my 2-year-old son Miles’ favorite toys. Last week, I wrapped them up and stuck them under the tree for him to open on Christmas morning.
- For my 5-month-old daughter, Linnea, I considered wrapping up some unopened clothing items and toys we received at my baby shower. Then I wrapped up exactly nothing, telling myself she’s five months old and won’t remember her mother neglecting her during her first Christmas. I also told myself her gift this year is the life I gave her. She’s too young to feel joy simply from ripping open wrapping paper and seeing a very exciting BOX … right? I promise I’ll do better for her next year. Maybe.
- Someone gave us an advent calendar for Miles in mid-November. I put it in the closet and told myself I’d bring it out on December 1st and help Miles open the little boxes every day ‘til Christmas. It’s December 22nd and the advent calendar is still in the closet.
- I did exactly one festive thing for my kids in the weeks leading up to Christmas: Took them for a drive through the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights. The activity took approximately 45 minutes and required absolutely no getting out of the car, no jackets, no gloves and no hats.
- Sometime around September, I made aspirational plans in my head to take them to the light display at our local zoo, bake Christmas cookies, buy family holiday pajamas, cut down our own tree and a bunch of other Instagram-worthy activities. I made zero effort to do any of these things. Instead, I told myself we couldn’t take them to the light display because who knows, it could rain. I’m not going to bake Christmas cookies because the kids are 2 and 5 months and it’s not like they can help. I nixed the pajamas because I just couldn’t be bothered to search for cute ones and spend a bunch of money on them. As for the tree, my husband convinced me to … gasp … put up an artificial tree with absolutely NO scent and NO authenticity.
- I had an idea in my head that now that we’re a family of four, I would send out a Christmas card this year. When we hit mid-December and I had done exactly nothing to accomplish that goal, I changed the plan to a New Year’s card. When I ran into a very small technical obstacle, I immediately gave up. Then I thought about putting up a Facebook post with a nice photo of the four of us and some holiday wishes, but I couldn’t find even one photo of all four of us where Miles is even remotely looking at the camera. So THEN I thought maybe we’ll take a photo and post it, then almost instantly changed my mind because it is truly too much effort to get everyone dressed festively, find someone to take the photo and conjure up a miracle to make Miles smile or even just look at the camera.
- I bought our stockings at Target because they’re cheaper and easier to come by than the cute, unique ones you can find at a farmer’s market or on Etsy.
- I filled Linnea’s stocking with baby shampoo, bubble bath, socks and an infant toothbrush & toothpaste because hey, she’s five months old and has no idea a Christmas stocking is supposed to be FUN and filled with things she’ll like.
- …But then I also filled Miles’ stocking with baby shampoo, bubble bath, socks and a new toothbrush & toothpaste. He’s two and it would be cool of me to start warm and fuzzy Christmas traditions and fill his stocking with thoughtful, crafty trinkets. But you know what’s easier than filling his stocking with thoughtful, crafty trinkets? Buying the exact same things for both kids.
- I did not fill up a stocking for the dog or buy him even one chew toy, making me an even worse Christmas dog mom than Christmas human mom.
- It didn’t even cross my Grinch-like mind to give holiday presents to Miles’ daycare teachers until I saw other parents doing it.
- When it looked like our extended family Christmas Eve celebration may get canceled due to Covid, I bought the ingredients to make Trader Joe’s pizza for our celebratory dinner. On Christmas Eve, I ordered delivery.
- What’s a Santa picture?
- I think it’s so beautiful when people wrap Christmas lights around the trunks of their trees. There are a few trees in my front yard that would look absolutely stunning with white lights wrapped around the trunk and maybe red or green lights decorating the branches. Did I complete even one step toward putting lights on the tree? No, no I did not.
- And as a bonus, Miles’ 2nd birthday is on December 27 and I didn’t get him one single present. Instead, I held back a few of the thousands of gifts his grandparents sent for Christmas and wrapped them up “from mom and dad.” I promise I won’t do that when he’s old enough to understand who gifts come from. Again … maybe.
But you know what makes me feel better about my lack of planning and, let’s be honest, lack of Christmas spirit? The thing that makes me think hey, I’m actually kind of a GOOD Christmas parent? My husband didn’t do a damn thing.