Let’s talk about imposter syndrome. Specifically, mom imposter syndrome. I wrote about the topic about a month after Miles was born and I’m revisiting it now because the feeling has intensified now that I’m a mother of two.
I’ve always suffered from imposter syndrome. Honestly, I think most people — at least most women — do. When I wrote for my college newspaper, I remember thinking, “Who am I to be doing this? Why are people listening to little old me?” When I went to law school and practiced law for a few years, I thought, “Me? A lawyer? Why should people trust me with their divorce or to help them secure custody of their kids? Those things are IMPORTANT!”
Of course, in hindsight I can see that I wrote for the school newspaper because, well, I was good at it. And people should trust me to help with their divorces and child custody because I was a lawyer who graduated law school and passed the California bar, so yeah, I knew more about the law than your average person on the street.
But now I’m a relatively new mom and I’m finding myself with similar thoughts: Who am I to raise these babies? Who’s in charge of giving people babies and how did I get TWO of them? What if I’m not good enough? I fed my son corn on the cob for dinner yesterday — and that’s it! Last week, I forgot to change my daughter’s diaper for five hours and she ended up with a soaking wet onesie because her pee leaked everywhere! Some of my friends have kids that are older than mine, so they know what they’re talking about and I don’t!
And, of course, writing about it leads to some of the same thoughts: Why should I write about MY experiences with motherhood? It’s not like they’re unique, and it’s not like I’m some sort of parenting expert.
But… why not me? Why shouldn’t I be a mom? Why shouldn’t I write about it? The answer is there is no answer. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be a mom, why I shouldn’t write about being a mom.
I’m the best mom for my kids; you’re the best mom or dad or parent or guardian for your kids. I don’t tend to believe in a lot of woo-woo stuff and I don’t really believe in fate. But when it comes to my kids, I DO believe in it. I was meant to have my specific kiddos and they were meant to have me as their mom. How else do you explain why one tiny egg and one even tinier sperm met up and created an embryo and implanted in my uterus and grew into a full human BABY and it all happened at exactly the right time in exactly the right way? It’s because they were both meant to be exactly who they are.
Okay, okay, this is getting to be a little out there for me. I guess I’m just trying to talk myself out of mom imposter syndrome. And hey, I think I did it! At least for today.