My Kids Are Asleep

Holy Sh*t, I Had Another Baby!

Welcome to the world, Linnea. We welcomed Linnea — a healthy, 7 1/2-pound baby girl — on July 23, 2021. 

She was born at exactly 39 weeks. She probably would have made it all the way to 40, but I opted for an induction. There are many reasons for that, but essentially I wanted to lessen the chance of a super quick labor ending with a baby born in a car! Mission accomplished: Linnea was born in a hospital just about six hours after we checked in. 

One thing I’ve learned in the week since she arrived? Hormones are REAL. 

I’ve definitely been through all the moods and all the emotions since Linnea was born five short/long days ago. Elation, relief, sadness, joy, overwhelm, love, resentment, satisfaction, irritation, contentment, anger, fear, happiness. 

Yesterday, for example, we got Linnea tested for jaundice at the pediatrician and faced the possibility of doing phototherapy, like we did for Miles. I felt anxiety, irritation, fear, and thankfully, her results were good and she didn’t need the therapy, but I still went through a cycle of emotions all day. And jaundice and light therapy are usually pretty minor; in all likelihood treatment would have taken half a day and she would have been totally fine. But the fear still surged through me as I visualized the worst-case scenario and catastrophized like you can only do when you had a baby five days ago and hormones are attacking your body. 

And today, in a total 180, I can almost physically feel the happy hormones surging under my skin. I look down at my baby girl and I just can’t believe I’m so lucky. I keep thinking to myself that ten years ago, fifteen years ago, I dreamed of becoming a mom someday. I thought two kids, a boy and a girl, would just make my life. And here I am, with two babies, a mischievous little boy and a sweet baby girl, the mischievous little boy bringing the sweet baby girl every time she cries. How did I get so lucky?

Tomorrow, I could be feeling absolutely anything. We’ll see what the hormonal roulette brings. I’m thinking irrational irritation at my husband, or maybe overwhelming relief that I’m no longer pregnant and the birth went well, or perhaps intense excitement for no particular reason? We’ll see!